I'm not sure why I like list, but when you put facts in a list its just more interesting. Top 10 lists, Least 10 lists, Best 10 lists, To Do lists, whatever. If its in a list, I'll probably read it. Here are some interesting lists...
Most looked up words in 2008
Lamest Superheors
10 annoying habits of a geeky spouse
Top 10 tips for writing an awesomely funny top 10 list
Top 10 unintentionally funny websites
Top 10 nicknames in sports
10 things you want to write on an exam
Facts about Joe Paterno
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
An open letter to guys who use the bathroom at work
Guys,
Lately I have noticed some disturbing trends in regards to bathroom behavior. I thought it was just the stress the semester getting to everyone and causing us to forget our most basic bathroom etiquette rules. Also, being the new guy, I didnt want to stir up trouble with some of the veteran instructors however, I feel like it is time to standardize the bathroom etiquette for the faculty restrooms. I have come up with some ground rules for the proper use of the faculty bathrooms.
First and foremost, please dont talk to me while in the bathroom. The bathroom is fairly small with one stall and one urinal in the space of a broom closet. I already dont like being in there with you and I definatly dont want to talk you about the weather. In fact, lets even try to avoid eye contact, we both know what we are in here to do so lets not make a big deal about it. If we do accidentaly make eye contact, a nod will suffice.
Second, dont secretly judge me if I bring reading material into the bathroom. I share an office with two people and live with my fiance so the bathroom is about the only time I get to myself to catch up on the day's events.
Third, If you are in the stall when I open the bathroom door, cough, sneeze or clear your throat so I know youre in there and avoid the awkwardness of trying to open the stall door while you are catching up on your reading. Also, this saves time by allowing me to quickly abort the bathroom attempt and move onto the next bathroom on the list.
Also, if you are in the stall going pooping and I come in to use the urinal, please dont exit the stall until after I leave the bathroom. I prefer to keep visions of my coworkers pooping out of my head.
Speaking of urinals, the urinal in the faculty bathrooms are surrounded on three sides by walls. You have nothing to fear about privacy when using these urinals, so please, DO NOT USE THE STALL TO PEE. The stalls should be for pooping only. If, for some reason, there are two people that are trying to pee at the same time and you MUST use the stall, PLEASE put the seat up. I dont care if you put it back down, but trust me, your aim is not good enough to leave the seat down. I hate having to hold my poops until after the custodian makes their rounds.
For Pete's sake use the damn air freshener. Its there for a reason.
Finally, for you unsanitary people using the bathroom sink to wash out your coffee pots and mugs, there is a sink in the adjuct faculty lounge. Please use that sink. Why do you think I always refuse your coffee? It's because you make it with water from the bathroom.
These are my rules. I dont think they are unreasonable, in fact, I believe they will lead to a more peaceful bathroom situation for all. If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know.
Sincerely,
Concerned Pooper.
Lately I have noticed some disturbing trends in regards to bathroom behavior. I thought it was just the stress the semester getting to everyone and causing us to forget our most basic bathroom etiquette rules. Also, being the new guy, I didnt want to stir up trouble with some of the veteran instructors however, I feel like it is time to standardize the bathroom etiquette for the faculty restrooms. I have come up with some ground rules for the proper use of the faculty bathrooms.
First and foremost, please dont talk to me while in the bathroom. The bathroom is fairly small with one stall and one urinal in the space of a broom closet. I already dont like being in there with you and I definatly dont want to talk you about the weather. In fact, lets even try to avoid eye contact, we both know what we are in here to do so lets not make a big deal about it. If we do accidentaly make eye contact, a nod will suffice.
Second, dont secretly judge me if I bring reading material into the bathroom. I share an office with two people and live with my fiance so the bathroom is about the only time I get to myself to catch up on the day's events.
Third, If you are in the stall when I open the bathroom door, cough, sneeze or clear your throat so I know youre in there and avoid the awkwardness of trying to open the stall door while you are catching up on your reading. Also, this saves time by allowing me to quickly abort the bathroom attempt and move onto the next bathroom on the list.
Also, if you are in the stall going pooping and I come in to use the urinal, please dont exit the stall until after I leave the bathroom. I prefer to keep visions of my coworkers pooping out of my head.
Speaking of urinals, the urinal in the faculty bathrooms are surrounded on three sides by walls. You have nothing to fear about privacy when using these urinals, so please, DO NOT USE THE STALL TO PEE. The stalls should be for pooping only. If, for some reason, there are two people that are trying to pee at the same time and you MUST use the stall, PLEASE put the seat up. I dont care if you put it back down, but trust me, your aim is not good enough to leave the seat down. I hate having to hold my poops until after the custodian makes their rounds.
For Pete's sake use the damn air freshener. Its there for a reason.
Finally, for you unsanitary people using the bathroom sink to wash out your coffee pots and mugs, there is a sink in the adjuct faculty lounge. Please use that sink. Why do you think I always refuse your coffee? It's because you make it with water from the bathroom.
These are my rules. I dont think they are unreasonable, in fact, I believe they will lead to a more peaceful bathroom situation for all. If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know.
Sincerely,
Concerned Pooper.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Where does it all go?
Do you ever wonder where all the lost stuff goes? I do. I was wondering where the socks in the dryer go. Every year or so I buy (or get via gifts) some black dress socks. I usually start out with 12 pair of socks and after 3 months I’m usually down to 6 pair. What happens to them? It’s like I put them in the laundry and they disappear. I started doing some research on this and I found that sock sales in the US are about $4.9 billion annually. WOW. I think if we could figure out the lost sock issue, we could save the US about $2.4 billion annually. How’s that for a bailout.
I’m beginning to think that the sock issue is a conspiracy between the appliance manufactures and the sock industry. According to Audey Reed-Granger of Whirlpool there is a logical explanation for the lost socks. She states that the socks are likely lost between the hamper and the laundry room. If that’s the truth, then where do they go? Wouldn’t we find them when walking back to get more laundry?
The Whirlpool Institute of Fabric Science states that static cling can cause the missing socks to end up inside of pillow cases and pant legs, kind of like laundry eating each other. Every week when I do laundry I end up spending time that I’ll never get back looking for missing socks only to go out and buy more.
On a related note, I saw an article that said that more than 40 million bags in 2007 were lost by airlines and of those more than 1 million were never found. Where does it all go? With our technology how can we not find 1 million missing bags?
Friday, March 6, 2009
Hollywood Lies!
Back to the Future and Demolition Man were amazing movies when they were first released, but now as I watch them they seem just a bit unrealistic. Ok really I'm just upset because I don't have a flying car or some sort of sea shell thing that takes the place of toliet paper.
1. Back to the Future Part II was set in 2015 and had flying cars. My jeep better be able to fly within six years! If this become a reality then we will have to come up with a stringent test to see who should be allowed to have a flying car license. I actually purpose that Ardis has to give the final approval on who can have a flying car. (Rouda can that be his job in your future administration?)
Time travel- Who didn't dream of having a DeLorean that traveled in time and flew? The problem for me is that anytime I actually think about traveling in time, I make my head hurt.
2. Demolition Man which featured Taco Bell as the only restaurant. I'm actually thankful that they got this one wrong. The movie was set in 1996! How did Taco Bell actually win the franchise wars? I'm guessing it has something to do with the toxic gas that is admitted after eating anything from there.
Also what was up with the sea shell things? I don't know that I would trust sea shells to take the place of toliet paper, but I am intrigued. No hooking up was permitted either. Thank goodness this movie did not prove to be an accurate depiction of life after 1996.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Another Crazy Athlete
Jason Taylor was released by the Redskins because he didn't work out with the team over the offseason. The crazy part is that he would receive $500,000 for completing 39 workouts. That means he would make $12,820 per workout! He used the family excuse for missing the workouts and that sounds pretty valid. BUT that's a lot of money to lose along with being released. I would find a way to bring my family along. For $12,820 per day I could find a way to make that work.
Maybe I'm not able to view this in proper perspective since I have to pay to workout. I'm thinking that most professional athletes have completely lost touch with the world. This one may even be worse since he was on Dancing with the Stars.
Picture note - I could have used a picture of him from the Redskins, but I thought I would try to inflame my Dolphin loving friend.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The White Dolphin's Cousin has been Found.
A rare pink dolphin was found in a salt water lake near the Gulf of Mexico. This dolphin is pink because it’s an albino dolphin. This is a cousin of the famous white dolphin and lives in Lake Calcasieu in Louisiana.
When the white dolphin was asked to comment on the news of this find he said, "I didn't know Pinky was missing."
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